Books n books

Whew, it's been awhile. All the movin' and marryin' and then movin' again really wears a girl out. I've just been laying on my couch, my fingers too frail and weak to type out a blog post. Really sad story. But my strength has returned, and THANK GOD, because I have some special things to share.

I love to used-book shop, and lately I find myself gravitating to the how-to books. I don' t need anymore stories, thanks, I just need to know how to make plants grow, get food delicious, and sweaters all knit up. My personal favorite genre for these types of books is "Hippies Doing It For Themselves". What can I say. I'm just a hippie and I want to do it for myself.

I will now share some pictures of some of my recent finds. I found a houseplant care book in Idyllwild that, well, it has this:
I know. I know. And the book tells you how to make that inconceivable looking terrarium. It does not, however, tell you where to buy that necklace.

It also tells you how to propagate ferns, and that shit? Is koo-koo nutty. THEY OOZE OUT OF PRIMORDIAL SLIME F'REALS.

Speaking of realness, I also just got a bread baking book that's pretty serious. No jokers here:

ALL THIS BREAD IS SO REAL WE PUT A REAL ASS PHOTO OF BREAD ON THE COVER. It's a pretty awesome book, the directions are more, "This will probably work, but if it doesn't, don't cry, just slap another loaf on the table, bread's a tricky little bastard" than artful photos of beautiful bread loaves rising on the table in farmhouse kitchens that make you feel bad about yourself. I made a sourdough starter this week, and I have HIGH hopes about my future self eating some homemade sourdough.

Downside is that inside this book is less real ass photos and more whimsical little drawings that, well, don't always illustrate the actual intent:

I HALP MAKE BRED FOR U

This little girl freaks me out whenever I see her. STOP SMILING LIKE THAT AT ME. And this little bear looks like it's cheerfully eating his own leg with some honey and I DON'T LIKE IT

Finally, let's talk television. Now that this post is almost over, what's next for your life? Let me help:

Downton Abbey-English servants and manor lords just living life. And Dame Maggie Goddamn Smith, so do yourself a favor and get into it.

Friday Night Lights- High school football players in Texas? YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT. I dare you to watch the first episode and not tear up a little. If you don't, then you're probably a robot that wasn't programmed to love. Watching that episode will likely be the way we weed out replicants in the future.

Bob's Burgers- This show has H. Jon Benjamin, who I would watch talk about paint drying he's so awesome.

SUMMER TIME AND SHIT'S HOT

OH HI

How've you been? I've just been trying to not die of heat stroke over here. It's fucking gorgeous outside, but my apartment takes all that is beautiful about summer and converts it to pure hot air and sweat. GOOD, PERFECT. Our next house is going to have a porch and/or backyard or I'm going to start flipping out and killing people.

Frisky modeling our go-to hot apartment remedy: frozen water bottles all up in it.

I bought a 35 mm film camera on craiglist a couple of weeks ago, and I've been walking around the park by our place snapping at things. I'm too insecure and hesitant to take photos of actual people yet, it's pure landscape. Don will be photographed within an inch of his life when he gets back from Belize. Until then, it's ducks and that large mound of rabbit fur up above.

Tree Canopies- how new and interesting!

Baby Ducks! I got really excited, and the picture is a little blurry.

I think this is my favorite from my first roll. I was fooling with the camera's auto focus.

I like this one a lot too.

Count the squirrels!

Good things

Here is a list of things I've really liked lately:

1. A friend got some Babysitter's Club books from a thrift store and lent some to me. She also told me about her friend's BSC recap blog, which is hilarious, and I read every entry as fast as I could. I read BSC books like it was my job, and now I know I'm not the only one who hated whiny ass Mallory and thought Claudia's outfits sounded like the shit, when seen through non-10 year old eyes, they were completely ugs and kind of insane.

2. Dawn was always my favorite BSCer because she was from California JUST LIKE ME and she cared about the earth and animals and was sometime a self righteous bitch about it. And so am I. And somehow I missed an entire spin off series of books about Dawn and her cool California friends who surf and deal with serious issues like eating disorders and suicide. GOD I'm SO MAD I MISSED THIS. But not for long because I bought a set of them off ebay for $3! YEAH. There's also a graphic novel of the first book, and I kind of want that as well.

3. New cartoon Archer. It's by the same people who do Sealab 2021, and it has both Lucille Bluth and Kitty DOING WHAT THEY DO, and I will never turn down a chance to see Lucille Bluth in action.

4. This sweater that I made:

YEAH. This sweater is the best thing I've made so far. Good color, good fit, good pockets. I would wear this every day if I could.

5. I've been embroidering lately, which is very relaxing. It's coloring with thread and needle. This blog has a great series right now of how to do different embroidery stitches. Plus, the first lesson is how to transfer your own drawings and designs!

Just a tidbit

HI! GUESS WHAT? I'M GETTING MARRIED! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Wedding planning is crazy, and does very weird things to your brain. For the last couple of weeks I can think about things Other Than The Wedding Planning for about 10 minutes before I'm compelled to Google to answer some bizarre question like "Is there someone who makes rabbit tuxedos?" (No, but there SHOULD BE) or "Wedding Pizza" (Which is also not a thing, and also should exist. I'm sensing my calling here.)

But the search that really paid off was morning glories. I want to use morning glory flowers in the bouquets and as a general type of wedding theme. Morning glories are nice and lovely and can be used to make you high as hell, which is what most people want to know about them. All Google searches that start "Can morning glory flowers-" suggest "-be used to trip balls?" as the ending line.

And then, searching through a legitimate gardening site, I found the most wonderful suggestion on how to deal with these types:

"Annecdotal evidence suiuggests that If an adult swallows a few seeds they will likely feel no effect whatsoever since the hallucinogenic compounds are inside the husk. If an adult has been silly enough to chew more than about 30 seeds they may well seem confused an hour or so later. The sensible thing to do is to remain calm and allow them to enjoy the experience which may last up to 12 hours. The only real danger is from stressing them out to the point where they run away and perhaps forget about traffic on the roads. Basically be nice to them and look after them and keep the severe telling off till the following day when they should be back to normal."

This made me so happy. I actually think that's a great approach to pretty much every human interaction I face every day. My new motto is "Basically be nice to them and look after them." We don't want them to forget about the traffic on the roads, after all.

NEW YEARS NEW RESOLUTIONS

Resolutions are my favorite part of new years, and I always make at least one. This year it's not really about improving myself because I'm PRETTY MUCH perfected, but about things I want to make, and spend more time making. So I spent a GOOD portion of my day on this job. Here's my list for now:

1. Terrariums. My friend Ilan's blog is where I first saw these and thought "YEAH". They look somewhat easy, and then you can leave them hanging out and only water them every couple of weeks. Also, you have to go thrift store shopping for glass containers and figurines. Any excuse for thrift store shopping is a good hobby.

2. Since I like growing things and hate watering, I also like these self watering containers for cooking herbs and maybe some tomatoes? The downfall is that I have a deeply held disdain for soda, so I'm going to have to root through some recycling bins to make these.

3. Baking bread is the perfect working from home activity and I'M WASTING MY POTENTIAL. More kneading and rising and punching in my future! I found The Complete Book of Pizza in a thrift store, and it has a lot of good pizza crust and sauce recipes, so I'm also now going to aim for a completely handmade pizza.

4. Knit Don a sweater that fits him perfectlyOH WAIT I ALREADY DID THAT. Pictures once I bundle him up and pose him somewhere picturesque. Which shouldn't be too hard, this is what we live across the street from-



EVEN THE BIRDS KNOW THE POSE GAME

I wish it was still Fall

Family Portrait

Drawn by Don:

Solemn girl is solemn.

Earlier this month I was a part of one of my best friend's wedding, and it was a beautiful thing, lovely in every way.

Today I found this picture of most of the bridesmaids:


And here is me again as a bridesmaid three years or so ago:


Looks like I take weddings PRETTY SERIOUSLY. What every girl wants on her wedding day.

SUCH A LAME COMEBACK

I'm sorry, excuses, excuses, but I PROMISE I will write again soon.

Until then, enjoy this little boy killing it. Why did the parents even allow his sister to be in the video? STRICTLY AMAETEUR HOUR over there.

OHGODSOHOTBRAINISMELTING

Ok, summer can end now. NOT A FAN of late August weather. Remember when high school would start in early September and it was still hot as balls, but you had to be at school as opposed to lying in a pool or something else idyllic and all your exciting new school clothes got sweaty and it kind of ruined them for the rest of the year? What a crappy time of year this is. It only brings sadness and sweat.

I want to see the leaves change and drink apple cider and wrap a scarf around my neck because it's brisk outside. I WANT IT TO BE BRISK DAMMIT.

bad day, but with ponies

So, I'm pretty convinced that owning a car in Massachusetts is not fucking worth it at all. Driving in this jerk-filled town is so bad that when I imagine that I have magic powers (as is my wont), my #1 wish is the power to control car motors USING ONLY MY MIND. Shit would be on fire left and right. AND THEY WOULD ALL DESERVE IT. (Previous #1 wish: Accio Food! while sitting on the couch in the living room.)
On the bright side of things; I have a really good honest mechanic out here; plus some pizza and unwatched episodes of The French Chef. And these pictures of a dwarf pony, which negates about half of my sadness and sorrow. HOW CAN I BE SAD WITH SUCH BEAUTY IN THE WORLD??

oh hay hows it going

Continued whirlwind life. Interspersed with periods of lying on the couch all day. BOTH TOO IMPORTANT TO GIVE UP FOR BLOGGING IT LOOKS LIKE.

Here's what I've been into:

- Iced Coffee made with sun-tea style brewing. (The site says "cold brewed", but I think that's incorrect. I think cold brewed is way more labor intensive.) Anyways, SO GOOD. I mix some of this with soy creamer over ice and it's amazing. Please make it now. I'm experimenting to make a good Mexican style coffee with this method. Just adding cinnamon did not meet my standards. I think I will try brewing cinnamon with the coffee, or making a cinnamon simple syrup.

- Julia Child is the shit. I read her memoir, My Life in France, and then rented The French Chef on netflix. I can't get enough. Her attitude towards food is so unpretentious and passionate, even though we have some fundamental disagreements about what is delicious (make your own sausages with pig intestines? nope), I'm still in. There is also an incredible show called Baking with Julia on Create where she scares the bejeezus out of young bakers. Here's a small sample, where I think she says "a coon's age."



- I can't wait to see Meryl Streep as Julia Child.

- I've been designing my own sweater for the first time, but it's more theory than practice yet, since I've only gotten half-way through the back. It will be grey, very warm, and have pockets, as all good sweaters should. Would you like to see a picture? Sorry, Don has the camera in San Diego so you'll have to be patient. (Another reason I haven't posted, I have nothing to illustrate my posts. If I just use words, you'll all fall asleep.)

- Corn bread made with banana and honey instead of eggs.

- Moving, or the fact that I will be moved in about a month. The whole moving part is not thrilling me.

- Rolling Stones cover bands from Italy. Oh yes, they exist. Called The Stoners, naturally. And they were amazing. Though only Mick Jagger and Keith Richards were REALLY COMMITTED to the whole look.

i guess this is still around so I can post weird videos

I'm going to Mexico tomorrow. I just came back from New York. MY LIFE IS A WHIRLWIND.

This is a good approximation of my dancing style.

Frances and her pet rabbit: UPDATE!

Thanks to Ilan for giving me the extra push needed to find this magical video online:



THAT RABBIT IS AMAZING AND I WANT ONE. No more of this wussy getting my own crayons from the table. Also, that dress? Better than I imagined.

In related news someone just straight up peed on the floor of the cage like litterboxes don't exist. Time to trade up.

Moving on...

...from cats with no faces- here is a painting by an artist I really like, Alexis Rockman. It's called The Farm:



I thought of this painting last week, and I couldn't remember the artist's name, so I was googling such things as "Pig with organs outside it's body", "Quadruple tomato", and "square cow". None were successful, though the pig one led to some bad images. WHICH I'M NOT SHARING, YOU'RE WELCOME.

Also, no one commented on this picture I posted earlier, but I have it as my desktop, and I've compiled a list of things that I like about it:



- that haircut
- bulletin board with her name on it
- the name Frances, in general
- rabbit sitting on the goddamn table
- the look on that rabbit's face
- striped shirt with a white collar
- crayons strewn about the table like she doesn't give a fuck
- using the crayons with an expression like she seriously gives a fuck

This is a movie still from an educational film from the 50's about Frances and her pet rabbit. I WANT IT SO BAD, but it's only sold in a pack with 10 other educational films for $60. I don't want to deal with all the extra nonsense.

...

I'm sorry if I give you nighmares about Chase the No Face cat, but I can't suffer alone.

Also, check out the comments. People aren't messing around about the "my cat has a blog" thing.

hi I'm at work being a slacker

So when I come out to San Diego now, people mention that I look like I've lost weight. I always think "Hmm, why would I have? My life is, if anything, more sedentary than when I lived over here and made an effort to leave my desk chair."

But this just happened in the R&D Kitchen at work:

Me: (Wandering around looking for food.) "Hey Matthew have you guys made any more cookies?"

Matthew: "No, we're just about to make some. Want some of this cookie dough?" (Offers lump of chocolate cookie dough the size of my fist.)

Me: YES.



OK GOT IT. Working from home: A good way to not stuff gobs of raw cookie dough into your hungry little face.

a gift for everyone

I'm procrastinating online, and I found this video. It's the ending (SPOILER ALERT) of a Werner Herzog movie called Stroszek. Enjoy. I certainly did.

OH. hi.

I know, who's still reading this? I need to GET on the new entries train again. But not quite yet, I'm going to San Diego for two weeks to eat some goddamn burritos, and work too, I guess. In fact, you can halfway blame work for my long absence, I've been preparing for a BIG presentation, and I've been stressing out about that, and my ability to present. I've decided that the answer is to get a long pointer stick, so I can use it to point at the powerpoint, as well as calm my shaking, sweaty hands. Does anyone know where you can buy a pointer stick? Teacher store?

Anyways, if I'm too stressed to procrastinate working, then I'm apparently not blogging. What a good insight.

Here's some crumbs until I get back:

I'm really into this girl's entire childhood:




We've been listening to Patton Oswalt a lot lately. Here is one I really like.


Whenever I hit a knitting slump, knitting toys always gets me out of it. Very therapeutic. Right now I'm making an elephant, and I keep fighting impulses to give him a top hat and some monocles, maybe a purple smoking jacket. Since it's for a baby, not so appropiate. The only answer is to finish THIS elephant, and make one for myself. Maybe with a cigar too. BIG summer ahead for old Hagerty.

Mad Men on dvd. I can finally see why the 60's had to happen. Against all logic, this is my favorite character:



I KNOW RIGHT? He's such a trashbag, but I just want him and the secretary to run away together and BE HAPPY GODDAMNIT.

Best movie ever

Still sick.