Books n books

Whew, it's been awhile. All the movin' and marryin' and then movin' again really wears a girl out. I've just been laying on my couch, my fingers too frail and weak to type out a blog post. Really sad story. But my strength has returned, and THANK GOD, because I have some special things to share.

I love to used-book shop, and lately I find myself gravitating to the how-to books. I don' t need anymore stories, thanks, I just need to know how to make plants grow, get food delicious, and sweaters all knit up. My personal favorite genre for these types of books is "Hippies Doing It For Themselves". What can I say. I'm just a hippie and I want to do it for myself.

I will now share some pictures of some of my recent finds. I found a houseplant care book in Idyllwild that, well, it has this:
I know. I know. And the book tells you how to make that inconceivable looking terrarium. It does not, however, tell you where to buy that necklace.

It also tells you how to propagate ferns, and that shit? Is koo-koo nutty. THEY OOZE OUT OF PRIMORDIAL SLIME F'REALS.

Speaking of realness, I also just got a bread baking book that's pretty serious. No jokers here:

ALL THIS BREAD IS SO REAL WE PUT A REAL ASS PHOTO OF BREAD ON THE COVER. It's a pretty awesome book, the directions are more, "This will probably work, but if it doesn't, don't cry, just slap another loaf on the table, bread's a tricky little bastard" than artful photos of beautiful bread loaves rising on the table in farmhouse kitchens that make you feel bad about yourself. I made a sourdough starter this week, and I have HIGH hopes about my future self eating some homemade sourdough.

Downside is that inside this book is less real ass photos and more whimsical little drawings that, well, don't always illustrate the actual intent:

I HALP MAKE BRED FOR U

This little girl freaks me out whenever I see her. STOP SMILING LIKE THAT AT ME. And this little bear looks like it's cheerfully eating his own leg with some honey and I DON'T LIKE IT

Finally, let's talk television. Now that this post is almost over, what's next for your life? Let me help:

Downton Abbey-English servants and manor lords just living life. And Dame Maggie Goddamn Smith, so do yourself a favor and get into it.

Friday Night Lights- High school football players in Texas? YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT. I dare you to watch the first episode and not tear up a little. If you don't, then you're probably a robot that wasn't programmed to love. Watching that episode will likely be the way we weed out replicants in the future.

Bob's Burgers- This show has H. Jon Benjamin, who I would watch talk about paint drying he's so awesome.

SUMMER TIME AND SHIT'S HOT

OH HI

How've you been? I've just been trying to not die of heat stroke over here. It's fucking gorgeous outside, but my apartment takes all that is beautiful about summer and converts it to pure hot air and sweat. GOOD, PERFECT. Our next house is going to have a porch and/or backyard or I'm going to start flipping out and killing people.

Frisky modeling our go-to hot apartment remedy: frozen water bottles all up in it.

I bought a 35 mm film camera on craiglist a couple of weeks ago, and I've been walking around the park by our place snapping at things. I'm too insecure and hesitant to take photos of actual people yet, it's pure landscape. Don will be photographed within an inch of his life when he gets back from Belize. Until then, it's ducks and that large mound of rabbit fur up above.

Tree Canopies- how new and interesting!

Baby Ducks! I got really excited, and the picture is a little blurry.

I think this is my favorite from my first roll. I was fooling with the camera's auto focus.

I like this one a lot too.

Count the squirrels!

Good things

Here is a list of things I've really liked lately:

1. A friend got some Babysitter's Club books from a thrift store and lent some to me. She also told me about her friend's BSC recap blog, which is hilarious, and I read every entry as fast as I could. I read BSC books like it was my job, and now I know I'm not the only one who hated whiny ass Mallory and thought Claudia's outfits sounded like the shit, when seen through non-10 year old eyes, they were completely ugs and kind of insane.

2. Dawn was always my favorite BSCer because she was from California JUST LIKE ME and she cared about the earth and animals and was sometime a self righteous bitch about it. And so am I. And somehow I missed an entire spin off series of books about Dawn and her cool California friends who surf and deal with serious issues like eating disorders and suicide. GOD I'm SO MAD I MISSED THIS. But not for long because I bought a set of them off ebay for $3! YEAH. There's also a graphic novel of the first book, and I kind of want that as well.

3. New cartoon Archer. It's by the same people who do Sealab 2021, and it has both Lucille Bluth and Kitty DOING WHAT THEY DO, and I will never turn down a chance to see Lucille Bluth in action.

4. This sweater that I made:

YEAH. This sweater is the best thing I've made so far. Good color, good fit, good pockets. I would wear this every day if I could.

5. I've been embroidering lately, which is very relaxing. It's coloring with thread and needle. This blog has a great series right now of how to do different embroidery stitches. Plus, the first lesson is how to transfer your own drawings and designs!

Just a tidbit

HI! GUESS WHAT? I'M GETTING MARRIED! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Wedding planning is crazy, and does very weird things to your brain. For the last couple of weeks I can think about things Other Than The Wedding Planning for about 10 minutes before I'm compelled to Google to answer some bizarre question like "Is there someone who makes rabbit tuxedos?" (No, but there SHOULD BE) or "Wedding Pizza" (Which is also not a thing, and also should exist. I'm sensing my calling here.)

But the search that really paid off was morning glories. I want to use morning glory flowers in the bouquets and as a general type of wedding theme. Morning glories are nice and lovely and can be used to make you high as hell, which is what most people want to know about them. All Google searches that start "Can morning glory flowers-" suggest "-be used to trip balls?" as the ending line.

And then, searching through a legitimate gardening site, I found the most wonderful suggestion on how to deal with these types:

"Annecdotal evidence suiuggests that If an adult swallows a few seeds they will likely feel no effect whatsoever since the hallucinogenic compounds are inside the husk. If an adult has been silly enough to chew more than about 30 seeds they may well seem confused an hour or so later. The sensible thing to do is to remain calm and allow them to enjoy the experience which may last up to 12 hours. The only real danger is from stressing them out to the point where they run away and perhaps forget about traffic on the roads. Basically be nice to them and look after them and keep the severe telling off till the following day when they should be back to normal."

This made me so happy. I actually think that's a great approach to pretty much every human interaction I face every day. My new motto is "Basically be nice to them and look after them." We don't want them to forget about the traffic on the roads, after all.

NEW YEARS NEW RESOLUTIONS

Resolutions are my favorite part of new years, and I always make at least one. This year it's not really about improving myself because I'm PRETTY MUCH perfected, but about things I want to make, and spend more time making. So I spent a GOOD portion of my day on this job. Here's my list for now:

1. Terrariums. My friend Ilan's blog is where I first saw these and thought "YEAH". They look somewhat easy, and then you can leave them hanging out and only water them every couple of weeks. Also, you have to go thrift store shopping for glass containers and figurines. Any excuse for thrift store shopping is a good hobby.

2. Since I like growing things and hate watering, I also like these self watering containers for cooking herbs and maybe some tomatoes? The downfall is that I have a deeply held disdain for soda, so I'm going to have to root through some recycling bins to make these.

3. Baking bread is the perfect working from home activity and I'M WASTING MY POTENTIAL. More kneading and rising and punching in my future! I found The Complete Book of Pizza in a thrift store, and it has a lot of good pizza crust and sauce recipes, so I'm also now going to aim for a completely handmade pizza.

4. Knit Don a sweater that fits him perfectlyOH WAIT I ALREADY DID THAT. Pictures once I bundle him up and pose him somewhere picturesque. Which shouldn't be too hard, this is what we live across the street from-



EVEN THE BIRDS KNOW THE POSE GAME

I wish it was still Fall

Family Portrait

Drawn by Don: